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haygood videos. watch them. i will try and get all of their videos up. SOON!!!!

I need help...

im sick of my stupid step dad. he is always putting me down and hurting my feelings. and constantly he is always saying when i go to branson the guys are going to put a restraining order on me and im going to jail. at first he was kidding but like 20 minutes ago he said with a straigh face. he is being serious. im not even like that with them. i enjoy going to the show and looking at them. i never even talk about them unless its with other fans i have met on the message boards. and he thinks the only reason im going to c of o is cause of them. thats not true. its a good school with so many new features and free tuition. he pisses me off so much. he doesnt understand. so after he said it earlier i kept staring him down and he said to turn around and i was like say youre sorry. and he was being a smart ass and said youre sorry. so i got up grabbed my purse and told colton cameron and doug bye and my mom said not to leave but i kissed her and hugged her and told her bye and she asked why i was leaving and i said cause he is an asshole. im sick of him. he's always being mean to me and getting drunk all the time and im sick of it. when he gets like that sometimes he can be funny but then most of the time he is a real jerk and is really hurtful. i really hate him sometimes. and my mom has said so many times she will leave hima nd she doesnt. and i really want her to. like i will miss cameron so much but i cant stand my step dad anymore. im sick of the mental abuse that he puts on me and my mom. im done with it. and it sucks cause i hate going out there so i only get to see my mom at her work. and i hate that even more than i hate him. i know its a strong word but its so true. he makes me cry all the time. my mom could do so much better but she always seems to find drunks druggues or complete and total assholes. or a combination of the three. i want her to be happy but she cant leave him cause she has no money no transportation and no place to go. i have told her so many times that she can come here and live and we have three vehicles and she can open up a bank account in her own name cause she has a job and she can slowly save her money. i want him out of our lives. im done with him. i never want to see him again. i really do hate him. how can he sit there and say he loves me and then act like that towards me. and you wanna know something i left like 40 minutes ago and my mom still hasnt called to see if im alright. how messed up is that. im done with it all. im never going back out there. except to help my mom move out if she ever gets the courage to do it. she has before when they were on drugs so i dont see why she cant now. cause she is a stronger woman and needs to move on and find someone better for her and even for me. i dont know where the help i need comes into play but i guess i just wanted to rant and rave. thanks for listening.

COLLEGE!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!

college is crazy!!!! i just dont know if i will make it or not. this thursday i have an interview at c of o and that day is my deciding future. im so scared. me and mom are going shopping tomorrow to pick out the perfect outfit but i have no clue what to wear. what to say. how to act. i know ive gotten plenty of tips and thanks to those of you that have but im still scared. i have a feeling im just going to blank and then like run out of the room and screw everything up. im so confused right now. i have no clue anymore. my dad is always telling me that i have the grades but in reallity i dont. my first two years of high school i messed up and i have a feeling its gonna come back and bite me...i need some help or something. i need answers and guidance. and no not a guidance counselor the ones at my school dont help at all. but you get what im saying. i just dont have all the answers and no one in my family has ever gone to college. i will be the first. even out of the extended family. its scary to have that weight on your shoulders and im only the second to graduate. papa graduated but never received a diploma cause he moved so much he wasnt allowed or something. he couldnt help that he was in foster care. so i dont know. but lets just say im second to make it not complicated. and first for college. i have no clue what to do. i need help. this is crazy. i have no clue what to do. HELP ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

c of o...is it for me?

so last night college of the ozarks called me to ask me if i had questions about the school which i did and they said they should be calling this week for an interview and if they dont call by friday then i need to call them to set one up plus a tour. im excited but everyone is trying to tell me to stay home and live with papa and they are making me feel guilty about it. like i feel bad cause i dont want him to ever be alone but i need this college. you work for your tuition and its good for me. i want to go there plus i love branson so much. i will miss papa a lot and my mom but i have to learn to be on my own they just dont get. i guess the song is right parents just dont understand. it means so much to me to go there. im only going to college to become a nurse for him so i can take of him when he needs it if he ever does. but i do want to be a nurse for me as well. its a great career that helps people and i love to help people as much as i can. plus no matter where you go you can always find a job and nurses make bank so yeah. i want a family and to be stable unlike my mom. this sucks and i feel like im being pulled a million different ways to make a decision for them about my life even though i should be making it for me cause its my life not theirs. i just dont know what to do right now. i love my papa so much and i dont wanna leave or ever leave him alone. but i gotta do what i gotta do. let me know what y'all think.

more to previous...

so i dont know where i left off but anyways its stupid how they get treated for wanting to do their own thing. they all are so nice and deserve so much more respect and better get more of it. im so glad all the fighting has deceased i was sick of it and hated being in the middle of it it was so stupid i couldnt take anymore of it. haygoods dont need people fighting over them the guys get it enough with all their adoring fans who want a piece of them we need to learn how to share more. even though i get mike. haha. jk. anyways im not really on fire like i was the other night so this is a short one.

i feel like i need to get this out... (for the haygoods)

okay
i dont know where to start so im just gonna ramble and you will be lucky if i use puncuation at all cause right now i just dont care. so fan night was awesome by the way but anyways i needed to say that the haygoods are one of the biggest inspirations in my life they have so much talent and love for what they do. it makes me mad that so many people dont appreciate them and follow them around and become stalkers its rediculous nobody should go through that at all it really makes me mad and it hurts to know they go through that i hate it so much they need a break but never get one cause either somebody is making some rediculous story about them or trying to be in with them just leave them alone go to the shows see them after enjoy their entertainment and enjoy the pics and videos its stupid that people would go so far to make things up. ive heard a lot of stupid comments from some people that know who they are that just need to get a clue and grow up and quit making up so much stupid stuff. im really done with it and i wanna tell them off so bad. its rediculous how so many people just follow and hang out by their cars after the shows to see them or get another pic that you just had im sure they just wanna go home and leave that place to get away and live their normal lives that they never get to live. like with them just wanting to hag out with their friends and have a drink who cares they are of age and wanna have fun. im sure you have a drink every once in awhile its no big deal for you and you are a christian its not wrong its perfectly fine it just makes me so angry they need to get a clue and realize that they have grown up and are not the fiddlers anymore from silver dollar city they wanna do their own thing and enjoy themselves and play their music and love what they do. im sure they do now but they wanna have more fun and do their own thing as well as what the older folks do. its stupid and had to get this off my chest and im so not done i will be back. and it will be longer than this one i guarntee it im just really tired. bye for now.