Sunday, February 10, 2008
I need help...
im sick of my stupid step dad. he is always putting me down and hurting my feelings. and constantly he is always saying when i go to branson the guys are going to put a restraining order on me and im going to jail. at first he was kidding but like 20 minutes ago he said with a straigh face. he is being serious. im not even like that with them. i enjoy going to the show and looking at them. i never even talk about them unless its with other fans i have met on the message boards. and he thinks the only reason im going to c of o is cause of them. thats not true. its a good school with so many new features and free tuition. he pisses me off so much. he doesnt understand. so after he said it earlier i kept staring him down and he said to turn around and i was like say youre sorry. and he was being a smart ass and said youre sorry. so i got up grabbed my purse and told colton cameron and doug bye and my mom said not to leave but i kissed her and hugged her and told her bye and she asked why i was leaving and i said cause he is an asshole. im sick of him. he's always being mean to me and getting drunk all the time and im sick of it. when he gets like that sometimes he can be funny but then most of the time he is a real jerk and is really hurtful. i really hate him sometimes. and my mom has said so many times she will leave hima nd she doesnt. and i really want her to. like i will miss cameron so much but i cant stand my step dad anymore. im sick of the mental abuse that he puts on me and my mom. im done with it. and it sucks cause i hate going out there so i only get to see my mom at her work. and i hate that even more than i hate him. i know its a strong word but its so true. he makes me cry all the time. my mom could do so much better but she always seems to find drunks druggues or complete and total assholes. or a combination of the three. i want her to be happy but she cant leave him cause she has no money no transportation and no place to go. i have told her so many times that she can come here and live and we have three vehicles and she can open up a bank account in her own name cause she has a job and she can slowly save her money. i want him out of our lives. im done with him. i never want to see him again. i really do hate him. how can he sit there and say he loves me and then act like that towards me. and you wanna know something i left like 40 minutes ago and my mom still hasnt called to see if im alright. how messed up is that. im done with it all. im never going back out there. except to help my mom move out if she ever gets the courage to do it. she has before when they were on drugs so i dont see why she cant now. cause she is a stronger woman and needs to move on and find someone better for her and even for me. i dont know where the help i need comes into play but i guess i just wanted to rant and rave. thanks for listening.
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8 comments:
Hey well maybe you need to stay with a grandparent or friend because you shouldnt be in an enviroment like that and i know what you mean i say i want to go to college down there and move down there and every say so you can see the haygoods and it makes me mad but if you need to talk more i here and i am sorry this is happening to you!!1
God Bless!!!!
~Cassie~
Tomiah,
I am sorry you are having such a hard time. I wish there was something I could do except saying a prayer for you. But, you know prayers are the best thing for those of us so far away. Hate is very strong and it is hard to think of another word to us. The only encouraging thing to say for you is that you know they type of person your mom wants and you will be able to stop yourself from falling into that trap.
You truly need to make sure the reason you are going to C of O is because of the education and not just to be in Branson. I know this sounds like I am siding with your stepdad but I'm not. I just want you to take a breathe and see where and what you want for your life.
Hope this helps a little.
God bless and love,
Annette
If I could hug you I would! You'll be in my prayers. I don't know exactly what you're going through, because I love my dad and even though we are so much alike that we just butt heads sometimes, he wouldn't do that. However, I have been stuck between two close family members before, with them each wanting me on their side. It isn't fun. I had my dad to talk it over with, and that helped. Could you talk with a pastor, youth pastor, or someone else you trust? I'm certainly not qualified to give you any advice, but if you need to talk I'm here. :) However, I would have to think that staying away from your stepdad would probably be a good idea.
I've sat here for a good ten-fifteen minutes to try and think of something else better to say, because I fear I haven't been too much help. I guess all I could really say is pray, and if you know your reasons for attending college there, don't let anyone make you doubt yourself! Write them down if you have to.
I love ya, and if you need to talk I'm here!
Tina
thanks guys!!
cassie,
i live with my grandpa and i always have. its just i only get to see my mom at her work or when i go out there and i dont wanna go out there anymore cause he is such a drunk. so no worries there.
annette,
i found out about c of o from going down to branson and that is one small reason i like it. the tuition, work program, the relationship it helps you bilud with God, and the patritism that it teaches you are big reasons. its a close campus and its like one big happy family. and the first time for me moving out i need a place that will feel like home and have that closeness. and you dont sound like my step dad. and yes i know hate is a strong word i even said that in my writings but i was mad and still am. im sick of him hurting me.
tina,
thanks for the hug. yeah me and him are a lot alike. we are both very outspoken and determined to have things our way and nobody elses. so we constantly butt heads. i cant stand it. he makes me so mad.
and thanks for the prayers.
love always,
tomiah
Tomiah,
I would to give you a big fat hug girl. I will pray that everything works out for you. I know its hart to be in this situation with your stepdad. Maybe living with grandpa will be the best thing for you. There is nothing wrong with going to C of O. You seem to have good reasons for your decision.
God bless!!
Joanna
Tomiah...so I wish I could give you a huge hug as well. You're an awesome person and I am so glad I've met you. It makes me sad to hear about the hard time you're having. All I can say is if you ever need to talk...like really talk or vent or anything...you can call me or IM or whatever. I tell you this a lot, but...you rock and kix arse!!! And I love you lots.
Kim
I wish I could also give you a huge hug. You are a great person and I am glad that I met you. If you want to talk to me feel free to ask me anything, and just try to enjoy the life you have right now, like going to C of O to accomplish whatever you are going to study there. I will keep you in my prayers and I hope things work out for the best.
God Bless and Love Ya
Liza
First of all,I am sorry you are going through stuff liek this.You shouldn't have to.I will be praying for you and hope everything turns out right.*HUGZ*
Second of all,I know why you wnat to go to C of o. I totally understand.My cousin went there and he loved it! One of my CYT teachers went there and loved that school.Its a great school and I pray you get in.If I am accepted as well,I will see you around campus and on Friday nights,me and you can go out and casue mayhem on Btown!lol! :P
Love ya girl! Stay strong! I'll be praying for you! :)
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